Parenting Value: Responsibility, Not Blame

Self-reliance and Potential

Dinner Topics for Wednesday

Individuality. Awareness and development of gifts and uniqueness. Taking responsibility for own actions. Overcoming the tendency to blame others for difficulties. Commitment to personal excellence.

 Richard and Linda Eyre

Introduction

Our fifteen-year-old daughter, true to her age, her hormones, and her nature, had spent the evening alternating between hot anger, cool sullenness, agitated irritation at other family members, and woeful, sorrowful withdrawal. "I'm going to flunk math because the teacher is so weird. He never explains anything. He grades way too hard. He never calls on me when my hand is up. I don't care anyway, grades are way too important to most people. Actually, it's my brothers and sisters who are ruining my grade. They're so loud and noisy, I can't study around here. Forget about an A. A B- is okay. It's not best, but it's good, and no one should be dissatisfied with good. If you'd been around more to help me study, maybe I wouldn't be in this mess." It was a not-so-rare collection of statements illustrating self-criticism and the blaming of others that goes on so often with some adolescents. But it wasn't our daughter's truest self. We had learned that at such moments there was little to do but wait for that truer inner self to emerge.

It finally did, about ten-thirty. "I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. That was stupid. It's my class and my grade. It's my own fault about the last test. I'll go and see if I can make it up. I know I have the ability to get an A."

Jekyll and Hyde? So many adolescents are. The challenge for parents is to encourage the Jekyll and help it win over the long run. 

There are two separate but closely related principles involved here. The first is the self-reliance of accepting the responsibility for and the consequences of one's own actions and performance, rather than blaming luck or circumstances or someone else. The second is trying to be one's best self and asking the best from oneself -- the conscious pursuit of individuality and potential -- and the conscious rejection of avoidable mediocrity.

"Self-reliance and potential," as we have called it, is a powerful value. Those who have it help others by accepting responsibility and doing their best in the world. Those who don't have it hurt others by blaming them and by failing to develop the gifts and talents that could serve or enlighten or benefit other people. One who reaches his potential helps others in many ways as he develops himself. One who never seeks his full potential indirectly hurts others by not doing the good or setting the example he is capable of.

This value is about trying to know ourselves, to do our best, and to accept the consequences both of who we are and of what we do. 

One way to think of self-reliance and potential is as two sides of the same coin. Self-reliance has a lot to do with taking the blame or the responsibility for negative things that happen. Potential has a lot to do with taking a little credit and taking the right kind of pride in what we are able to become and what we are able to accomplish. 

When we take blame and responsibility, we resolve and grow and improve. When we don't, we become bitter, jealous, and defensive. When we take positive pride in what we're doing with ourselves and our gifts, we feel the growth of individuality and self-esteem. When we don't, we tend to become followers or plodders in the standard ruts of life. 

Good luck in making this your value of the month for October!

"Parenting-by-Objective"

Review the activities and stories that go along with this months value. Make sure everyone in your family understands the value so they can see how they can apply it in their own lives and situations.

Talk about the Monthly Value every morning and remind your family to look for opportunities to use the value throughout the day. They may also observe how others don't understand the value. Get your children to share their experience with the value each day at the dinner table or before you go to bed. Be sure to share your experience each day as well. It will help your children know that you are thinking about the value too.

Heat Wave, Sunday, and Christianity

Heat Wave: End it by Remembering God on Sunday

Dinner Topics for Friday

“If ye walk in my statutes, and keep my commandments, and do them;
“Then I will give you rain in due season, and the land shall yield her increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit. “And your threshing shall reach unto the vintage, and the vintage shall reach unto the sowing time: and ye shall eat your bread to the full, and dwell in your land safely.“And I will give peace in the land, and ye shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid.” (Lev. 26:2–6.)21
If we love the Lord, we will observe the Sabbath day [or Sunday] and keep it holy.

A Dinner Topic Story for your Children

I am old enough to remember a couple of years in the late 1970s when we had two very severe winters. (Around that time, “a new Global Ice Age” was the popular doctrine of the day).At that time, Spencer W. Kimball, a Christian leader, told us that if we would more faithfully honor the Sabbath, we would be blessed. We endeavored to obey his counsel, and not long after that, the severe weather relented.

Sometime in the 1990s, California had a severe drought, and water was strictly rationed. Thanksgiving of that year, Christian leader Ezra Taft Benson called upon member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to fast and pray for relief for the people of California. On the Monday following that weekend, California experienced downpours of rain. Relatives in California thought it was mere coincidence, but I know that it was answer to our prayers.

Might this current relentless heat wave be a “sermon from on high,” to remind us to look to the Creator who gives us our daily sustenance? How long has it been since we thought about the Sabbath, or Sunday, as a Holy Day? Think about it; pray about it; try it. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the Father of Jesus Christ, is waiting to bless us, if we but seek Him. Look to God and Live. ~C.A. Davidson    

The Lord has promised blessings to those who faithfully observe the Sabbath.

By Spencer W. Kimball

The purpose of the commandment [to keep the Sabbath day holy] is not to deprive man of something. Every commandment that God has given to his servants is for the benefit of those who receive and obey it. It is man who profits by the careful and strict observance; it is man who suffers by the breaking of the laws of God. …

In my travels I find faithful people who forego Sabbath day profits and the handling of forbidden things. I have found cattlemen who have no roundup on the Sabbath; fruit stands along the roadside, generally open day and night through the fruit season, closed on the Sabbath; drug stores, eating houses, and wayside stands closed on the Lord’s day—and the owners seem to get along, at the same time taking genuine satisfaction in abiding by the law. And every time I see good folk foregoing these kinds of earnings, I rejoice and feel within my heart to bless them for their faith and steadfastness.19

I know that men will never suffer, ultimately, for any seeming financial sacrifices that might be made, for [God] has commanded us to live his laws and then has challenged us:

“… prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” (Malachi 3:10.)20

With respect to this commandment, among the others, let us follow the prophet Joshua: “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: … choose you this day whom ye will serve; … but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Josh. 24:14–15.)

Bible Verses

Then we can hope for the blessings promised the children of Israel: “Ye shall keep my sabbaths, and reverence my sanctuary: I am the Lord.

“If ye walk in my statutes, and keep my commandments, and do them;

“Then I will give you rain in due season, and the land shall yield her increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit.

“And your threshing shall reach unto the vintage, and the vintage shall reach unto the sowing time: and ye shall eat your bread to the full, and dwell in your land safely.

“And I will give peace in the land, and ye shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid.” (Lev. 26:2–6.)21
If we love the Lord, we will observe the Sabbath day and keep it holy.

It would appear that the reason the Sabbath day is so hard to live for so many people is that it is still written on tablets of stone rather than being written in their hearts. …

… In our own day it would seem that [the Lord] recognized the intelligence of his people, and assumed that they would catch the total spirit of worship and of the Sabbath observance when he said to them:

“Thou shalt offer a sacrifice unto the Lord thy God in righteousness, even that of a broken heart and a contrite spirit.” (D&C 59:8.)

… He gave us the first and great commandment:

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” (Matt. 22:37.)

It is unthinkable that one who loves the Lord with all his heart and with all his soul and who with a broken heart and contrite spirit recognizes the limitless gifts which the Lord had given him would fail to spend one day in seven in gratitude and thankfulness, and carrying forward the good works of the Lord. The observance of the Sabbath is an indication of the measure of our love for our Heavenly Father.22

People frequently wonder where to draw the line: what is worthy and what is unworthy to do upon the Sabbath. But if one loves the Lord with all his heart, might, mind, and strength; if one can put away selfishness and curb desire; if one can measure each Sabbath activity by the yardstick of worshipfulness; if one is honest with his Lord and with himself; if one offers a “broken heart and a contrite spirit,” it is quite unlikely that there will be Sabbath breaking in that person’s life.23

Parenting Value: Courage

Courage

Richard and Linda Eyre

"Daring to attempt difficult things that are good. Strength not to follow the crowd, to say no and mean it and influence others to try it. Being true to convictions and flowing good impulses even when they are unpopular or inconvenient. Boldness to be outgoing and friendly."

Introduction

Eight-year-old Talmadge: "Yeah--it takes real courage to be a chicken." 

Dad: "What do you mean by that?"

Talmadge: "Well, I mean, like if kids are trying to get you to do something that you don't think is right -- or it's really, really dangerous, and they're saying you're a chicken, then it takes real courage to be a chicken and say, 'Yeah, I'm a chicken.'" 

Dad: "Now why couldn't I have said it like that?" 

We had been talking about courage, and I'd been trying, in my long-winded way, to explain the difference between true courage or being a leader for the right, standing up for what you believe, and resisting peer pressure and the false courage of accepting dares, taking risks, being foolhardy. I had been trying to communicate the idea that real bravery was an inner thing, closely related to integrity and being true to yourself, and unrelated to the sort of outward bravado and macho chance taking that seems to be the message of so much of our media.

It was there that Talmadge interrupted with, "Yeah, it takes real courage to be a chicken."

So . . . courage means doing the right thing when it is hard (and even if it means being called a "chicken"). 

Children can learn what courage is through stories, games, role-playing, and discussion, but they can learn to have it only through your example and through your lavish praise of their example (or even of their attempts). 

Teach by your own example -- show courage and point it out. Give your children a parental model for courage. Tell your children about difficult things you do -- not in a bragging or boastful way but in a candid way that lets them know that things are difficult for big people, too. If you had a hard assignment, tell them about it. If you spoke to someone who had made you feel uncomfortable, tell them about it. If you said no to some peer pressure, tell them about it. Think of past things as well as current situations. 

Clarify the difference between courage and "loudness," and between the lack of courage and shyness. This well help your children see that courage is a quality of character, not personality. If you have one or more particularly shy children, see that they understand that you are not trying to teach them to be louder or more assertive. Talk with them about quiet courage -- the courage to say no to something that is wrong, the courage to say hello to a child who has no friends. Explain that everyone's heart pounds a little, that we're all a little scared, but that we can do what is right anyway. 

Help your children understand the makeup of courage. The key to teaching courage to children of all ages is to realize that preparation and faith or belief (not just "red blood") make up courage. Our children will have courage if they are properly prepared, whether it is by thinking through decisions in advance and teaching them how to say no with confidence or by encouraging them to practice a piano piece for a recital and helping them to feel confident that they can perform well. Having faith in themselves to be able to do what they know is right is the key to courage. Children can realize that faith lies not in believing that something will turn up but in believing that they can turn something up.

"Parenting-by-Objective"

Review the activities and stories that go along with this months value. Make sure everyone in your family understands the value so they can see how they can apply it in their own lives and situations.

Talk about the Monthly Value every morning and remind your family to look for opportunities to use the value throughout the day. They may also observe how others don't understand the value. Get your children to share their experience with the value each day at the dinner table or before you go to bed. Be sure to share your experience each day as well. It will help your children know that you are thinking about the value too.

Facts About Mitt Romney Bio

 Mitt Romney Bio

Character Matters in Leadership

Mitt Romney:  

Romney may not be the best representative the Republicans could have selected. At least I know what religion he is, and that he won't desecrate the flag, bow down to foreign powers, or squander my money on vacations. I know he has the ability to turn this financial debacle that the "Spending President" has gotten us into. We didn't know that when Obama said he'd give us change, he meant nickels and dimes, and he would get the big bucks. We won't like all the things necessary to recover from this debt, but someone with Romney's background can do it.  

But, on the minus side, He never was a "Community Organizer", never took drugs or smoked pot. Never got drunk. Did not associate with communists or terrorists. Nor did he attend a church whose pastor called for God to damn the US.

After going to both Harvard Business School and Harvard Law School simultaneously, he passed the Michigan bar, but never worked as an attorney.  

As a venture-capitalist, Romney's first major business deal involved investing in a start-up office supply company with one store in Massachusetts that sold office supplies. That company, called Staples, now has over 2,000 stores and employs over 90,000 people. 

Romney or his company Bain Capital (using what became known as the "Bain Way") would go on to perform the same kinds of business miracles again and again, with companies like Domino's, Sealy, Brookstone, Weather Channel, Burger King, Warner Music Group, Dollarama, Home Depot Supply, and many others.  

Got your calculators handy? Let's recap.  

Volunteer campaign worker for his dad's gubernatorial campaign 1 year. 

Unpaid intern in Governor's office 8 years.  

Mormon missionary in Paris 2 years. 

Unpaid bishop and state president for his church 10 years. 

No salary as president of the Olympics 3 years.

No salary as MA governor 4 years. 

That's a grand total of 28 years of unpaid service to his country, his community and his church. Why? Because that's the kind of man Mitt Romney is!  

And in 2011 Mitt Romney gave over $4 million to charity, almost 19% of his income....Obama gave 1%

Joe Biden gave $300 or .0013%

This is real character vs....well you know what!  

Romney may not be the best representative the Republicans could have selected. At least I know what religion he is, and that he won't desecrate the flag, bow down to foreign powers, or squander my money on vacations. I know he has the ability to turn this financial debacle that the "Spending President" has gotten us into. We didn't know that when Obama said he'd give us change, he meant nickels and dimes, and he would get the big bucks. We won't like all the things necessary to recover from this debt, but someone with Romney's background can do it.  

But, on the minus side, He never was a "Community Organizer", never took drugs or smoked pot. Never got drunk. Did not associate with communists or terrorists. Nor did he attend a church whose pastor called for God to damn the US.

Catholic Church, the Election, and Freedom of Religion

Will You Vote the Values that Stand the Test of Fire?

Dinner Topics for Friday

Abortion, Supreme Court, and Roe v. Wade

Supreme Court Ruling Admits Roe v. Wade Abortions Can Be Bypassed

End Abortion on Demand; Help Congress Overturn Roe v. Wade Video

56 MILLION BABIES CONDEMNED TO PAINFUL DEATHS

A BOLD, AGGRESSIVE CAMPAIGN

A simple piece of legislation to bring the “legal” definition of life in line with the biological, in effect, bypassing Roe v. Wade

Sign petition to help end abortion-on-demand once and for all.

Dear Concerned American,

I've prepared a brief but urgent video regarding breaking news in the fight to overturn Roe v. Wade in our nation.

Please take a moment to listen to my urgent message by clicking here.

After you listen, please sign the petition to finally end abortion on demand.

Sincerely,

Rand Paul,
U.S. Senator (R-KY)

Thank you for briefing me on the National Pro-Life Alliance's campaign to pass a Life at Conception Act which will reverse Roe v. Wade and end abortion on demand.

The Supreme Court itself said in Roe that once Congress establishes the personhood of unborn children, they must be protected by the 14th Amendment.

Since the Supreme Court is waiting for someone to tell them who the law counts as persons, let’s not wait another minute!

To help in the battle for a Life at Conception Act, please sign the petition and donate if you can.