Parenting Value: Integrity

Honesty and Integrity: Parenting Value for July

Richard and Linda Eyre

Dinner Topics for Thursday

Honesty

Integrity with other individuals, with institutions, with society, with self. The inner strength and confidence that is bred by exacting truthfulness and trustworthiness.

Introduction

How can we teach our children to develop the inner strength and confidence that is bred by exacting truthfulness, trustworthiness, and integrity? How can we help our children avoid the common childhood tendencies to stretch the truth, to exaggerate, to rationalize, and to tell the little lies that often lead to bigger ones? Can small children develop the early integrity that will help them become honorable, dependable adults? Can elementary-age kids learn the direct, look-you-in-the-eye truthfulness that will win them respect and confidence? Can adolescents communicate candidly with parents?

"Parenting-by-Objective"

Review the activities and stories that go along with this months value. Make sure everyone in your family understands the value so they can see how they can apply it in their own lives and situations.

Talk about the Monthly Value every morning and remind your family to look for opportunities to use the value throughout the day. They may also observe how others don't understand the value. Get your children to share their experience with the value each day at the dinner table or before you go to bed. Be sure to share your experience each day as well. It will help your children know that you are thinking about the value too.

Click here for methods of teaching honesty and integrity

Bible Study Topic: Leadership Skills

 

An important part of leadership is being able to control oneself. 

 

Following is the story of Sampson, who might have been a great leader if he had exercised better control of himself. In today’s society, this especially applies when an individual is vested with political power. The temptation to abuse it is great.

As Edmund Burke said,

“Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Internal Government

Society cannot exist unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within, the more there must be without.  It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things, that men of intemperate minds cannot be free.

~Edmund Burke

Samson was raised from infancy, prepared by diligent parents to fulfill a mission of liberating Israel from the Philistines. Instead, he is known in scriptural record as the epic hero who never was. On the surface, the Biblical account of Samson looks rather amusing. That Samson’s remarkable physical prowess was connected to the length of his hair reads almost like one of Grimms’ fairy tales. The fact is, the length of Samson’s hair was only one outward manifestation of the Nazarite vows he had taken. The immense strength was a spiritual gift, contingent on his faithfulness to the Nazarite discipline.

Samson failed to develop the necessary self-discipline to merit the spiritual gifts he had been blessed with. As he became boastful, and trusted in his own strength rather than giving glory to God, Samson one by one broke all his vows. He indulged his selfish passions and appetites, including marrying out of the covenant with an immoral Philistine woman. He did not think anything through; his behavior was driven by his feelings.

When he trivialized the source of his strength by playing games with the Philistine Delilah, this represented the final breakdown of his discipleship to God.

She pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death. (Judges 16:16)

At some point, most of us can probably relate to having experienced this kind of pressure from someone else. Samson’s failure came first from dallying so much with sin and temptation. He constantly surrounded himself with it. Is it any wonder that he finally broke when he was pestered long enough?

Samson’s lack of internal government caused his personal downfall and deprived his nation of liberating leadership.

One may also be pressured when trying to do something right. Even then, it is easy to react in anger, fear, or foolishness.

The “wise man who builds his house upon a rock” knows that true freedom comes from acting by choice rather than being acted upon.

“Discipline” is defined as “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.” Simple, brute-strength “will power” is not mentioned. Because the natural man rarely has sufficient “will power,” the “wise man” trains, molds, and corrects himself on a daily basis. It is a building process— on rock. No shortcuts.

The wise man looks ahead, constructing his house to stand independently of forces that tear down and undo his work. Day by day, a step at a time, he schools his feelings, delays gratification, and subordinates foolish impulses to the larger character he is capable of. The less he indulges himself, the more substance he has, and the less room in his life for that which would cause irreparable downfall.

The builder’s to-do list might include practicing courteous actions rather than angry reactions. Discussing and using peaceful resolutions to conflict and misunderstanding. Using moderation in appetites and showing appreciation for the gifts and services of others. Teaching wisdom and order. All these seemingly small things make up the firm inner structure that can withstand incessant adverse elements and bring enduring peace of mind.

 Copyright 210 (c)  by Christine A. Davidson

Epic Stories for Character Education, p.39

Character, Liberty, and National Survival

Character, Liberty, and National Survival

“Society cannot exist unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within the more there must be without. It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things, that men of intemperate minds cannot be free.” ~Edmund Burke

An Atheist Tyrant Learns the Secret to Liberty

Once, in ancient Meso-America, there was a king who ruled over many lands, but there was no peace. He and his armies were always fighting with other native American peoples, resulting in much death and destruction.

It came to pass that his son Lamoni was visited by some missionaries from another land. Notwithstanding that the missionary was from an enemy nation, Lamoni became converted to Christianity. One day Lamoni and his missionary friend Ammon were setting out for the land of Middoni, and they met Lamoni’s father, the king of Middoni. The old king was furious with his son for consorting with the enemy, and sought to kill Ammon with his sword. But Ammon bested him with excellent swordsmanship. Fearing for his life, the king promised Ammon anything, up to half his kingdom. All Ammon wanted was for Lamoni to have freedom to worship according to his newfound faith.

The king was so astonished that his anger vanished. He released Ammon’s brother Aaron from prison, and invited him for a visit. “If thou sayest that there is a God, behold I will believe.”

“Behold,” replied Aaron, “assuredly as thou livest, O king, there is a God.”

Aaron taught the king about the creation of the earth, and the fall of Adam. He explained that the only way to overcome his fallen nature and be saved from death was to stop sinning, or in other words, repent.

“What shall I do,” asked the king, “that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy? Behold, I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.”

Aaron told him that if he would repent of all his sins, and call on God in faith, he would receive that hope.

When he heard Aaron’s words, the king knelt down and cried mightily, saying: “O God . . . if there is a God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee.” 

God heard his prayers and the king became a new man. He proclaimed religious liberty throughout all the land, and all the people lived in peace. (Alma 22:6-18) The old king changed his heart because he desired something better than the way he was living. He exchanged his pride for humility, and he became accountable to God, instead of a law unto himself.

World history is a vast chronicle of the rise and fall of nations, according to the good or bad character of their leaders. The fact is that in most nations, democracy does not seem to survive any longer than 50 years, or one generation. Now dictators have come to power in America because of pride and lust for power, threatening our cherished freedom. They want to command and control every aspect of people’s lives, without being accountable to God or to the people who granted them the power.

Governments are a product of the character of their people. The less “internal government” achieved by leaders who cannot control their lust for power, or by people with an entitlement mentality, the more external laws that seem to be required.

“Society cannot exist unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within the more there must be without. It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things, that men of intemperate minds cannot be free.” ~Edmund Burke

How can we prepare the rising generation for principled leadership in tomorrow’s world? 

Click here.

Charles Dickens, Character, and Self Improvement

Dinner Topics for Friday

<--Dickens and his characters

Character Education, Self-Improvement—“By Any Other Name. . .”

In Charles Dickens’ classic novel, Great Expectations, the young boy Pip started out in difficult circumstances, being raised by his older sister, who was very harsh. When he came of age, he was blessed with a considerable fortune from an unknown benefactor. His money caused him to be rather prideful and vain, but his conscience always bothered him. When at length he discovered the source of that fortune, he was humbled. In due time, Pip overcame his pride and vanity, because he ultimately heeded his conscience, felt compassion for many he had once disliked, and developed a sincere desire to do what was right.

Another story from great literature is in the Bible, where Jesus Christ met the woman taken in adultery. After He shamed her accusers, there was no one left to condemn her or throw stones at her. The Savior told her to “go and sin no more.” Although Jesus did not condemn her, neither did He forgive her at that time. There is something she needed to do first, in order to obtain that forgiveness. She needed time to repent. (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.68)

The dictionary defines repent—“to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life.”

Character education, self-improvement—what have you—implies the choosing of right over wrong, and making an effort to change for the better, or in other words, repentance. Repentance, by any other name, is still repentance.

People often have negative feelings about repentance. However, honest observations of our current culture compel us to acknowledge that good character leads to a more peaceful, orderly, and happy society. The truth of this principle cannot be ignored.

Parents need not be afraid of holding their children to high moral standards. The atonement of Christ is a safety net in the times of falling short, but it is fastened to repentance. Repentance is not easy, but it is easier in the long run. Still, “it is easier [yet] to prepare and prevent than to repair and repent.” (Ezra Taft Benson)

After His suffering was over, Jesus said that if we would repent, or turn from sin, we would not have to suffer for those sins, because He already paid the price. So, at the end of the day, we see that “repentance” is really a message of love, because it is the key to mercy, and ultimately saves us from a lot of unhappiness.

Copyright © 2011 by Christine Davidson